Like the yin and yang or the sun and the moon, you’re going to have bad dates as well as good ones. As a result, it’s smart you have a strategy to process bad dates so that you can bounce back. Here are some tips that will help you deal with bad dates without letting them destroy your confidence.
Try to combat high expectations
While it’s difficult to truly enjoy a date or build a romance without being at all invested, do your best to keep your expectations under control. For example, instead of seeing every new date as a chance to meet a spouse who will want to have children with you, view a date as a fun opportunity to meet new person. You are less likely to feel mortally wounded by a poor date if you aren’t expecting much, and if the date is great then it will be a pleasant surprise.
Look at what early rejection means
While being rejected can wound your confidence, give some thought to the reality of the situation. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you? When you have a bad date or learn that a potential match has decided not to see you again, it’s bound to sting. However, it’s much better to learn about incompatibility or lack of interest at an early stage than it is to invest months or years in a person only to discover that they never really felt that crucial spark.
Learn useful lessons
Instead of seeing bad dates as disasters, turn your attention to what you can learn from these encounters. Every uncomfortable conversation, accidental offence or bland evening will teach you something about what you want and need from a relationship. Take a close look at what happened, and ask yourself why the date was bad. Are you going for the wrong type of person again and again? Did you spend too much time talking instead of listening? Think about what went wrong and resolve to do better next time. However, be mindful of the fact that you may well have done nothing wrong. For example, sometimes there is an unforeseen clash of personalities or someone accepts a date in spite of being hung up on an ex.
Enforce a time limit on self-pity
Whenever you have a bad date, take a moment to feel the force of your negative response, and then commit to moving on. For example, you might have a melancholy evening, but be sure that you shake it off in time to rise with a fresh attitude the next morning.
Focus on the future
There is always someone else around the corner, so start thinking about how you’re going to meet a more suitable partner. Tweak your online dating profile so that it presents your best self, go out to social events where you might meet attractive people, and put that bad date in the rear view mirror.
To stay positive after a bad date can be challenging at times however if you apply one or more of these handy tips you will be moving onto your next, hopefully more successful date in no time.