Dragging out a breakup doesn’t work well for either party. The best relationship breakup’s (if there is such a thing) are those handled with tact and humility. The ‘your not the one’ news may come as a complete shock to the receiver. The Key: deliver your message compassionately.
1. Method counts
Depending on the amount of time you have dated, will govern the method you use for the breakup.
2 – 3 months Phone call should be an absolute minimum, however face to face is courageous and should be considered.
|Dating Timeframe||How To Breakup|
|Under 1-month||Phone call is honourable / text will cut it|
|3 – 6 months||Phone call/face to face|
|6 months plus||Face to face|
Important break up advice – Email / Facebook / Twitter don’t get a mention in the list of methods. With good reason. Just don’t, it is disrespectful and shows little compassion for the receiver.
2. Honest It’s Me, Not You
‘It’s not you, it’s me line’ will be laughed at! Honesty is truly the best policy. Whatever the reason maybe, the healing will be a lot quicker when presented with the facts for the breakup. Long-winded stories are rarely needed. It’s best to get to the point and keep it real.
3. Don’t Linger
Deliver the message, answer questions. Discuss what needs to be discussed organise the return of personal items, whatever it maybe and go forth elsewhere! The person on the receiving end of the breakup will need time to process, cry, call friends, swing from the chandelier without you present. No matter the reason for ending the relationship, there will be hurt feelings if the breakup is not expected.
4. Set Them Free
The exchange of items is done, the chat is complete, and the reason explained. It’s time to set them free. Staying in touch rarely works. In some instances, leads to false hopes of reconciliation and doesn’t truly allow for any healing. It is the rare few that can stay friends. Make it easier for the both of you in the short-term and cut contact.
5. Dealing With Social Media
Navigating social media after a break up is always tricky! Do you delete them, remove your coupleton digital footprint, change your relationship status immediately or simply do nothing! If you are the one with the broken heart, it is a normal instinct to check what your ex is up too. The best solution is to rip the bandaid off – block them for the time being so you can get busy recovering and moving on without slowing down the healing process by checking on your ex’s activities.
Break ups suck regardless if you are the breaker or the breakee. On the flip side, the sooner you both move on, the sooner you are closer to finding the one for you.
After a humourous yet real break up story? Read how ‘I got back on the horse’!
Yours in healing hearts!