When you are on the receiving end of being dumped, break-ups have the ability to stop us in our tracks and make us question everything in life.
Let’s be honest, your self esteem is going to take a beating. Regardless of how confident you are. No one wants to be told they are not the one that rocks their world. It hurts and it sucks!
With every break up comes a healing process. This generally entails carrying out a self-assessment and over-analysing the most insignificant scenarios that took place whilst you were together. This inevitably results in a mixture of emotions ranging from certainty that everything is the other person’s fault to toxic self-blame.
Some of the common questions that we ask ourselves during a breakup are:
Question: Why the Break-up Occurred
When you’re first hit with the ‘just dumped’ situation you are entitled to throw your very own pity party. The key is to put a timeframe on your wallowing. All suffering brings a lesson and an opportunity to change and grow. Rest assured you will get that light bulb moment, where everything is clear as to why the relationship never worked. Hindsight is a beautiful thing.
Question: Your Self Worth
Are you worthy, are you good enough? These are common questions that we ask ourselves and the answer is always YES. You are always good enough and worthy enough and a break-up should never define your self-worth.
Question: Whether You Will Ever Meet Anyone Else Again and Whether All the Good Ones Are Gone
Are all the good ones gone? Aaaah, short answer – No. Hell No. This is a natural and understandable question. No matter what age or stage you are at in your life there is always someone else around the corner. It is a matter of taking steps to get to the corner and turning it. When you have just had your heart broken you cannot even imagine a corner let alone have the motivation to go striding around it. Rest assured it is there, and you will find it.
Question: Yourself and Your Direction
Questioning yourself is not a bad thing. It is a great opportunity to take stock, check that you are heading in the right direction and think about what you really want in a relationship.
Break-ups are the greatest opportunity for growth and in time they make you stronger. Break-ups prompt you to question things in your life that you may not have stopped to consider before. Self-reflection can never be a bad thing. In time a broken heart will heal and you will become grateful that you are now free to find the one that will see how amazing you are.
When you meet the one for you, you will then understand the self-assessment, have insight into the change in direction your life may have taken and most importantly, it will be clear why it never worked with anyone else.
“Love can never be love if it is forced; it comes from choice and choice alone.”