Ladies ask yourself this: When is the last time you really chose who to date? Your last partner; did you choose them or did you simply fight for their approval and wait for them to choose you?

We are faced with choices every day. The car we drive, the clothes we wear, what we eat (self-control permitting!). Should you not take rights to an equal choice in whom you date?

When romance is concerned, some ladies throw this perfectly good choosing process out the window in lieu of a burning need to be wanted and desired. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be desired; everyone wants it. BUT… is the need to be desired taking away your ability to make real choices about who you date?

We see this happen too often and too easily around the first few dates. You’re busy trying to figure out if this man likes you, or what he is thinking.  When we fixate ourselves on these questions some more important ones fall by the wayside: ‘Do I like them?’ ‘Are they a good fit?’ More importantly ‘Do they have the qualities and values that I am looking for?’

Our choices become unimportant, even non-existent. Too much time is spent attempting the impossible – trying to read someone else’s mind!

What can I do?

Before you continue in a relationship habitually, ask yourself:

*  What are they bringing/ going to bring into my life?

*  Do I actually like this person?

*  Do we share the same goals?  and importantly

*  Do they have the values that I am looking for in a partner?

2.  Keep your choices! You make your decisions and let them make theirs. Your choices are your power, don’t lose them.

3.  Always put your best foot forward and don’t get hung up on what they are thinking. Allowing your mind to be dominated with what they think reduces your ability to make a choice if they are right for you.

When it’s all said and done if the chemistry isn’t there – you’ll choose not to date them or they’ll choose not to date you. Whatever it ends up to be,  you’ll be able to smile and take solace in the fact that neither of you tried to fill a square hole with a round shape.