I am a lover of the bean; in fact,  I would go so far as to say that I am an addict. My morning doesn’t truly kick off until the warm froth passes through my lips, filling me with the energy only that wonderful substance has the power to deliver, and setting me in good stead for the day.

However, when it comes to dating and coffee the two simply should not be mixed.

Coffee dates have become popular as quick, apathetic ways to meet someone—to size them up as the aroma of the bean nestles in place of what could be the makings of a fine romance.

The art of dating is a process of getting to know someone, investing time and effort right from the outset. After all, if we aren’t prepared to put our best selves forward on a first date, are we not setting the tone for the rest of the relationship, should it proceed that far?



Not Convinced? Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Say ‘No’ To the Coffee Date:

1.Make an Effort

 When it comes to dating, most women want to make an effort. That means artfully applied makeup, styled hair, and choosing the right outfit for the date. Coffee dates translate as casual; therefore, the act of making an effort to get prepared and ready for a date doesn’t apply when you are meeting for coffee.

2. Coffee is Quick

Coffee is a quick date.  It takes a whole 20 minutes to drink a coffee, even with the best conversationalist for company. Throw in a muffin and you could possibly extend the date to 25 minutes—30 minutes for a creamy cake you’re trying not to smear down your front! Coffee shops have all the trappings for a first date—plush cozy ambiance, easy-listening music in the background—but don’t let this lure you into a choosing one as your date venue.

3. Uninvested

If you’re going out on a date, you want to ensure that the person you are dating is as invested and as hopeful as you are. There’s no time commitment to a coffee date, no chance of getting past the superficial stuff. We both know that going out for coffee is really just screening your date—are they or aren’t they hot?

4. A Little Stinky

Let’s be honest, as great as coffee is, your breath is less than fresh until you a) brush your teeth b) eat something else or c) drink something else. When saying your good-byes do you want your date’s last memory to be of your stinking coffee breath? I think not. Dating is hard enough without having to try not to breathe on someone.

Tip for Men:  Coffee is for mates, bars are for dates. Keep this in mind the next time you are asking a woman out. She, I’m sure, will match your effort and be pleasantly surprised that you are not placing her in the bean-loving-mate category.

Tip for Women:  When you are asked out for coffee, here is an ideal response: ‘Thanks, I would love to meet you for a drink, my favourite is <inset red/white/other>. ‘Do you have somewhere in mind to meet?’  ‘I can recommend <name of non-coffee-shop venue>’

We live in a face-paced society. We are even speeding through the ‘get to know you’ process and not taking the time to date with the intention of learning about someone. If we slow down and value the importance of dating and getting a little bit of depth from the date, the first date might be all you need to realise that you’re onto a good thing. However, if we are rushing the process, going for coffee dates in the aim of hurrying through the screening process and testing out as many dates as possible, we are simply missing the point altogether.

Slow down. Put some effort in. Enjoy the date. Even if it doesn’t work out, at least you know that you have invested in the process to get it right from the outset.

Cup of tea anyone? Kidding!

Happy dating!

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