With the Comedy Festival a buzz in Melbourne, it is the perfect time to get some hot dating times from Australian’s very own comedian – Yianni.  He has spent the last 12 years honing his craft whilst living in London and is responsible for making people laugh in over 40 countries.

Q.  When you are not naturally funny, what is the best way for a man to be funny on a date?

A.  This is an especially difficult question for me to answer, as I am a naturally funny person.  There are two ways of looking at this.  One way is to say that humour is really awkward when done badly, so don’t force it.  But the other view is that humour is a shared thing, so who’s to say that you are or aren’t funny.  Isn’t part of finding a partner finding someone who will laugh at your jokes?  So try your jokes out and see if you’ve found “the one” (who’ll laugh at them)

Q.  How do you get out of a bad date?

Emergency call.  Get a friend to ring you and explain that they’ve been kidnapped by nefarious aliens from Rigel VI.  Calmly stand up, and whilst slipping your jacket on explain that you’d love to stay, but “my friend and the galaxy needs me”  This shows (1) That you are brave.  Women love courage.  And (2) That you are loyal to those close to you.  And to the galaxy at large.

Q.  How do you stand out from other men?

A.  This will sound cliché, but just be yourself.  You are different from other men, so being as genuinely yourself as you can will highlight those differences.  Alternatively, if you lack the confidence to be yourself, dress up as Bing Bong from ‘Inside Out’ and turn up with a severed hand for a corsage.  It might not go well, but you will stand out.

Q.  Do you have a ‘go to’ line that you use on every date?

A.  No.  Every date is different, so the idea of a line feels limiting.  That said, if you’re so bereft of spontaneity that you can’t think of something appropriate to that moment, try going all Keyser Soze and constructing a line from whatever’s in the vicinity (“Let’s drive through to the next window…of love!  I’m loving it!”)

Q.  How do you ask a woman out?

A.  I use the usual low-pressure tactic of going to something that you’ve both discussed that you’re interested in, like a movie, an exhibition, the theatre.  Or you could do what my Dad did when he turned up at my Mum’s house and proclaimed to her family that he wanted to marry her (It was the 50s and they were Greek.  I wouldn’t recommend it now)

Q.  What is your first date suggestions / where to go?

A.  Come to ‘Love Bites’ at the Comedy Festival.  You’ll hear stories of terrible dates and love gone wrong.  What you hear about on stage will be so traumatic that your everyday date will positively seem like paradise in comparison.

Tips for women:

Q.  What do you do when the guy is being a dick on the date?

A.  Hmmmm….this is a toughie.  A guy could be being a dick because (1) he’s uncomfortable and out of his comfort zone so is acting weirdly, or (2) because he’s a dick.  Try to work out which one it is.  If it’s (1) you might want to wait it out and see if you like the person underneath.  If it’s (2) date him for a tumultuous two year period if you’re in your teens or twenties.  This is an important learning exercise and part of growing up, and at the very least you’ll get to ride on a motorbike/hang backstage at concerts/whatever the hell else he’s doing to compensate for being a dick.  If you’re anyone else, politely excuse yourself and return to your life.

Q.  What should you do if he is trying to be funny and he’s not?

A.  Consider whether this is something you’ll be able to put up with over a long period of time.  If Dad jokes have taught us anything, it’s that humour declines with age, so take into account that what you’re seeing may be the funniest that this person will ever be again.

Q.  If I was dating you – what is going to win you over?

A.  If you laugh at my jokes and can make me laugh, that’s me done really.

Q.  Why do men not call?

A.  Oh wow, how long have you got?  We’re just not that into you.  Work got really busy.  We met someone else that we like better.  Telstra technical difficulties.  We’re married.  You have a cat and we’re allergic to cat hair.  You punched us in the groin on our first date.  I need more information.

q.  Should I ask him out?

A.  YES!  Why?  To paraphrase hot Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau ‘Because it’s 2016′

If you want to catch Yianni at this year’s comedy festival, he is hosting 3 guest comedians each night on ‘Love Bites’ a panel show focusing on love, sex and relationships.