This is it. All dates have gone smashingly well and have been progressively building with excitement and anticipation of the next step. Your on-the-couch-make-out-sessions have become nothing short of hot and heavy. You know it’s nearly time for the next big move. Oh yeah, the time is coming to get it on between the sheets!

Some of us tend to think that the first time we have sex with a new partner we can simply channel the Notebook—insatiable passion, deep longing looks, arms and legs intertwining seamlessly, effortless position changing and hitting your partner’s hot spots the first time. After all, who doesn’t want that? Your first time may not go as smoothly as a movie scene—most of us don’t have a film crew instructing us where to strategically place our hand, leverage with that left leg or, basically, directing our every move. However, these useful tips will assist first timers in taking to the sheets and steaming up at least one window.

Lower Your Expectations

The first time you have sex should be fun and a journey you take together. Yes, we all want to get to the big O destination, however, your first time together you are just learning what works for one another. Enjoy discovering and exploring. If you keep your expectations realistic everything else is a bonus.

Be Prepared

Scenario: You have built up this night in your minds and the anticipation is getting too much. You get to the critical move and it’s time—time for lift off! Hmmm, no protection. Baa-bow! Moment lost, first time killed in an instant. It’s both party’s responsibility to be prepared in the protection stakes. Be safe, be prepared—get protected and well-equipped so there are no Baa-bow moments.


OK, we women get that men don’t like asking for directions, however, this is a different kind of driving where direction can prevent unnecessary speed-humps. A little hand moving and subtle hip positioning, plus moans of encouragement when they get it right, won’t go astray and will be gratefully received. That goes for men too—let her know what she is doing right and where ‘things’ need to be adjusted and assist her accordingly. Direction and encouragement can only heighten the fun.


It’s not a race. Enjoyment comes through the journey—it’s not just about the end goal. Foreplay is vital, ensure that you don’t skip it and make it count.

The After

Hug it out. Talk it out. Laugh it out, then sleep on it. This is certainly not a time for a “Call you tomorrow” moment.  This is when spooning is at its most intimate and becomes one of the greatest benefits of sex.

In the end, the first time is a starting point and something that you can build upon and continue to experiment with—now that’s where the fun is really at!