This is in honour of all the married ladies, and the truth of what they really want to say. There is no holding back; it’s being laid on the table for you. This what she really wants you to know.

At some point, as a prospective partner, you obviously became somewhat endearing, otherwise, your lovely lady would not have said yes to the dress you and become your wife. However, just because you managed to put a ring on it does not, by any means, allow you to become complacent in the relationship and forget all the simple things.

Let’s take manners, for example. They should still exist. We are pretty damn sure that these were demonstrated when you were dating and are part of the reason she fell for you in the first place. Call it chivalry, call it ‘manning up’ or call it what it is: how not to piss off your wife so that she still talks to you.

Organise a Fucking Date

Book the fucking restaurant, bring some fucking money, take the fucking lead every now and then. Date your fucking wife! Excuse the outburst—channeling a wife whose name shall remain Angry. Women tend to be the natural social activity planners but that doesn’t mean that every now and then you can’t take charge, book a restaurant and actually pay for the meal. I know, I know, your finances are probably shared but it doesn’t hurt you to whip out the cash or card and get it sorted. Even go and pay the bill when she is in the bathroom. Old fashioned, right? But the little things add up to what matters. Every now and then don’t ask her where she wants to go, just book it. Take a chance and roll on the adventurous side.

High Heels

At the back of most women’s cupboard is a pair of high heels just yelling to step out. Give her a good excuse to pull out those heels so she can step out in style and feel smashing. You can only benefit from all of this high heel/smashing activity that she has going on—play your cards right and you may even get lucky.

Here’s a tip: if she does pull out those fabulous heels (actually, any kind of heel) don’t make her strut too far. They can be blister-causing, you know. Drop her at the venue door and go and park the car.

Have Some Chat

If you are going out for the night, come armed with some conversation topics. Particularly if you have kids. Steer away from talking about your little people and talk about each other. What’s happening in your life, the goals you are planning together. Or if that’s a little too deep and you want to keep the night light, talk about other people—that’s always entertaining.

The main message here is that you should come with something to say. Remember when you used to date and had normal conversations? Try that.

Notice Her

If she is looking the goods and has gone to some effort, noticing and acknowledging this can never get you into trouble. If she has her hair done differently, notice it. There is nothing wrong with stopping to pause in your busy lives to really notice each other. This also goes if she ain’t looking so great. Maybe not something you should be spouting about but perhaps check in to see if everything is ok. This will make her world a little brighter.

Take The Lead

Be the man. You are the man! Every now and then she wants to be the one who doesn’t have to make decisions; wants you to take charge and make things happen. She doesn’t want you to make all the decisions but every now and then she just wants you to take the lead so she doesn’t have to do it constantly. It’s simple really, but this is something that is often overlooked. Decide on dinner (then make it happen). Choose the weekend activities. Choose. Simply choose and take the lead so that she doesn’t have to.

Stop Being Annoying

After you have been married for a while, and have spent a significant amount of time living with someone, the truth is, you start to annoy each other. Sorry to break it to you but you are, in fact, annoying. It’s the little things that piss a wife off. Here’s how you can help.

  • For the noise-sensitive wife (and there are many) do NOT scrape your cereal bowl, bang your coffee mug, chew and slurp and swallow in earshot of your wife. No need to crunch near her, she knows you’re hungry, go crunch somewhere where it doesn’t sound like a thunderstorm.
  • Laundry! I am sure you have a washing basket of some type. All she truly wants is for you to put your stinking socks into it. Not on top of it, not beside it, IN it. And while you’re at it, pull your pant legs and shirt sleeves in the right way, you slack bastard.
  • Don’t instantly undo a clean house and all the effort that has gone into it. Acknowledge the freshly cleaned floor/bathroom/kitchen/laundry/family room and don’t spread your dirt/mess/technology/junk all over it the instant you enter. Help keep the kids from doing the same.

Read the signs. It should be safe to assume that, as you are married, you know a little about your other half. Read her signs. If the sign says back off, maybe back off a little! If her sign says she might need a hug and some reassurance, do that.

Make an Effort

The number one complaint I hear from wives is that married men stop making an effort. It really is the simple things that matter. Buy her some flowers, notice her, ask about her day, do the dishes. These are all little things that show her you are making an effort and that you remember the reasons you fell in love.