Hi my name is Gianna and I am a recovering lust-aholic.
Intoxicated. A drug hit like no other. But already I was yearning for my next high—ready to sell my soul to get it. All for a warm embrace. This behaviour was extraordinarily out of character. I had to face up to the harsh reality that I had completely lost control—I was a lust-aholic.
If only there were a class for those of us with elevated lustfulness, those of us in a lust-driven relationship. A class where we could get support and understand the chemical imbalances driving our appetites. Perhaps, a place where we can get some assistance in how to recognise the signs—what the triggers are—so that we can be prepared for and embrace the sudden intense changes in our bodies and characters or, instead, choose to run for the hills and avoid it altogether.
I had already been lucky enough to experience the exquisite pleasure of amazing sexual encounters and thinking that I had explored all there was to explore I was surprised to learn there were untapped pleasures. I was suddenly consumed by inappropriate thoughts, a longing for this new man’s touch. All I wanted to do was stay in bed with him, talking was overrated and food merely a necessary source of energy for stamina.
How had I become addicted? What was possessing my usually strong, creative mind and driving me to reckless abandon? I Googled madly in search of an answer, in search of a cure. After all, it couldn’t continue, one cannot live on ardour alone!
There it was. Oxytocin! The thing responsible for creating this exquisite pain. A simple long hug is all it takes to release this beast and turn my world upside down. I started to blame him for the delightful and indulgent kisses, knowing that recovery would be torture.
When I was at the pinnacle of my addiction, I could have easily convinced myself there was something more, something worth perusing in the name of a deeper bond. Oxytocin—damn you for the power you have to mess with people’s fragile emotions!
You may find yourself in a similar situation. This is how to identify whether you too are a lust-aholic:
Conversation is Overrated
Sure, there are giggles and shared jokes, but the joy of a shared conversation is not the driving force behind why you want to see them again. You aren’t stimulated by what they have to say, the deep conversations that create the foundation of a great relationship are lacking and life’s day to day details are shared sparingly.
Don’t Want To Share Yourself
You have no desire to share the inner depths of your soul and open up yourself to this person. You walk together in make-believe-land. The thought of reality setting in is dull and enough to turn you away from your lust-driven antics.
Keeping it Physical
Everything is great between the sheets; however, when the times come that you need to get vertical it just doesn’t seem to function the same. The attraction is solely physical, whether the whole package or a single body part!
No Plan to Meet the Parents
Without ‘partner’ status there are no plans—immediate or distant—to meet the parents or blend your social networks. All encounters are kept separate from the rest of your lives.
I was happy to become an addict. For a while. With the knowledge that it would be short, it would be adventurous, it would be stimulating, and by gosh it would be fun!
If you find yourself in a lust-aholic situation, be sure to protect your heart, but also embrace the high and embrace it while it lasts!