Making room for love in your life in this hectic day and age isn’t just about rearranging your schedule or the physical space you are in. It comes down to how you feel about yourself on the inside. That is, the more we love ourselves in a non-arrogant, warts and all, self-loving kind of way, the more capable we become of creating the space to allow more love into our life. Yep, it’s more about you than anyone else – minus the ego.

So when you stop judging yourself or being harsh on yourself, which often becomes a ‘mind virus’ for many, we start to de-clutter internally and truly love and appreciate ourselves. This then emits the transmission vibration that allows the universe to provide more of the same in your life. But if you are not liking yourself, then you will tend to attract people who you won’t generally like.

That’s why learning to self-love is a process of self-enquiry and purification; a prognosis of where you are at. It’s working on yourself, rather than going out there searching for the love of your life. Sure, that person will turn up at the appropriate time, but only when you have allowed yourself to love you so that you open your heart to let that happen, instead of the other way around.

Here are some ways to get started:

Mirror, Mirror

No, this isn’t about a fairy tale. However, mirror work, or ‘mirroring’, is a powerful technique that renowned self-help author Louise Hay has encouraged for decades. Looking at yourself in the mirror, repeatedly say, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” and keep saying that to yourself until you reach a point where you actually accept it and mean it. It can be a confronting exercise to do, especially at first, and there could be tears. Being true to yourself in this way not only helps you create self-love, it also paves a pathway to happiness and joy.

Get Comfy With Yourself

When you start to feel more comfortable with yourself, then people will feel more comfortable in your presence. That’s because people are more attracted to those who do love themselves. But remember, I’m not talking about arrogant love, it’s about self-love, as well as being independent of the opinion of others. Instead of reacting to everyone’s opinions and comments, even if you don’t agree with them, maybe just say, “Hey, that’s a good point.” Everyone sees life in their own way – through their own pinhole of existence – and we don’t have a right to judge on that, despite our ego liking to think that we are right.

Let Go of Past Hurts & Future Worries

Creating a loving internal space means breaking down the walls of resistance to love’s presence. Yes, we’ve all been hurt, had broken hearts or betrayal somewhere along the line. But at some point, we have to get over it, otherwise we are not going to be able to allow love in. That said, it’s no good holding on to justified resentments or anxiety based on what might happen in the future. What’s more likely to happen is that you will repeat the past. But when you become aware of that pattern, then you can get out of it. After all, your subconscious mind is there to serve you and it will only do this based on what your inner dialogue is – how you actually speak to yourself, and how you process things.

 Cut the Cord

To help let go of the past, such as any unresolved feelings towards an ex-partner, a good meditation that I’ve used and taught is where you imagine an umbilical cord between both of your belly buttons. With some imaginary scissors, cut the cord at a point where you believe it needs to be done. Keep repeating this visualisation until you feel as though you have truly let go. The closer you cut it to yourself, the more power to you. It comes down to releasing any need to remain attached to someone or the feelings surrounding them, as well as forgiveness.

“So, start speaking to yourself in genuinely kind, loving ways to open yourself to the magnificence of love”.