Never thought I would be at a place in my life where I would be saying, “back in my day…” but I have arrived.
Mostly unscathed, a few dating battle scars, but I made it.
It’s 2018 and literally everyone has a smartphone.
We are contactable ALL THE DAMN TIME.
Gone are the days of calling someone’s house phone and just arranging to meet outside the local library at 12 pm to go’ hang out’.
We live in a world where we send messages to devices that go ping. We message the night before to confirm. That morning to ask what the other person is wearing. We message to say the bus is running late. We post about our great lunch and our on-point contouring #onfleek.
We can see when our 2nd cousin twice removed married their childhood sweetheart when our hairdresser is doing a free cut and blow dry on Wednesday and we see can see what the person who just left us (or we just left) is up too.
Being “friends” or following a person of romantic interest on social is a big thing and just a big a thing when we “unfriend” and unfollow. That, however, is not the end!
Being so linked through our social platforms, sharing interests and friendship circles leaves us open to seeing what our ex is up to. Sometimes by no fault of our own. They are tagged in a friends, friends picture that’s public.
And sometimes the fault is our own.
Sometimes our fingers are on autopilot and before we can think consciously and stop ourselves from the emotional self-harm, we are creeping on our once loved pictures.
We can see them smiling, out with their work crew for Friday night drinks. Off in Bali at a retreat or in Thailand drinking buckets at a full moon party.
And from what they are showing, things seem pretty alright from where we are sitting. At home in our track pants for 3 days, eating ice cream from the bucket and searching for an app that will deliver wine to the door.
That voice of irrational imagination seems louder than ever. “Look at them having the time of their lives”, “They never loved you.”. “Who the hell is that chick draping herself over him”.
The angry narrative becomes a truth to us that can either spiral us deep into sadness… or….
You can remember you have a choice.
- You can choose to not fall into the vortex of social media creeping
- You can choose to unfollow them and anyone else you want to if that is what you need to do to heal
- You can choose to use that story that you’ve told yourself as a motivator for change in your life
When you choose to do differently, is when life will start to transition to the next chapter.