The question of who should pay has been the subject of a number of surveys conducted to help us understand todays dating etiquette.
A survey conducted by LearnVest asked over 2000 men and women who should pay for dinner on date night? 59% surveyed said that the man should always pay unless the woman asked him out. When the distinction was made between genders, 55% of men and 63% of women agreed that the man should pay. Interestingly, 42% said that whoever asks for the date should pay.
Whilst theres no right or wrong, there are some general guidelines that are accepted as the norm when it comes to dating etiquette.
Its generally accepted that the man should pay for the first date and, ideally, for a few more into the relationship. Its the courteous thing to do and suggests a sense of responsibility, stability and enjoyment of his dates company. That said, theres no reason why a woman shouldnt offer to pay for a drink before or after dinner or make some other small gesture to contribute towards the date.
If the man instigated the date, then he should pay. Even where the woman instigated the date, the man should be prepared to pay and if the woman insists on paying or contributing to the bill, graciously accept it! The key is how the man handles this, not in how the dollars and cents are split.
Whatever you do, dont make the bill scenario awkward when it arrives. One of the best ways that one of my dates has sorted the bill was on his way back from a visit to the Mens Room he discreetly settled the bill to avoid any conversation about it. Impressive!
Who pays does get easier as the relationship evolves… it is, however, the chivalry that counts in the beginning.
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image credit: Andrew Furlan