“Why are you still single?” Much to a single person’s horror, this antaquated question continues to be asked by relatives, friends and suprisingly, new acquantances. 

This type of question calls for a clever response that is gurantted to leave the asker wishing they had thought better about their curious probing.

The success of any of these statements lay in the delivery and calls for nous and bravery.  Maintain ‘serious face’ at all times. Here goes:

I  have taken many a lover but found there is few that can handle my ‘fabulous’.

I like to friend zone them staight up – save some time! 

I think I’m overly attractive and people struggle to relate to me.  What do you think?

I believe in past life. I have a feeling that my soul mate is your partner. I don’t want to rock the boat, but are you ready for fate to take its course?

Why have one when I can have many.

Why are you still married?

I have talked it over with my cats, and there isn’t the space in our life for another right now.

I ask myself the same question every night. I cry myself to sleep in sheer disbelieve ‘why do you think I’m single’ Is it because I’m fat, is it the pimple on my chin, is it my legs , are they to long /short’? Tell me (insert crazy eyes, grab the asker by the shoulders) tell me, why? why? What is it about me, why am I still single’ ?? Wipe away an invisible tear for a more dramatic effect.

If your on a date and they throw up this quesion – they are simply trying to ascertain if you are bat shit crazy or there is something wrong with you…. This calls for a confident response – something along the lines of  ‘I’m’ looking for something less than ordinary’ and depending on your confidence at the time, adding ‘how do you think you measure up?’

There is never a good answer to ’Why are you still single’. If you are the one asking- STOP NOW. If you are on the receiving end of ‘Why are you still single’ use the above bravely and abundantly.